Friday, March 13, 2009

Time for "The Talk"

One of the biggest milestone events for a parent is when time comes for “the talk”. You know, the one that is most likely way more uncomfortable for you as the adult to say than it is for your child to hear. I know most kids grow up never hearing frank advice in the home about sex or about money. This seems odd to me since we are all bombarded daily by almost every medium imaginable about these two topics. I figure it is better my son get the information from mom and dad vs. getting it from his buddy, visa commercial or from that first American Pie movie.

I am breaking new ground personally here since I am in the majority of people who never had this discussed in the home. As a result, I have been planning my talk strategy for quite some time. The battle plan moves to high gear this weekend with a father son overnight backpacking trip. It would seem much manlier to break into this subject on a trail in the woods while doing manly things. If nothing else, this way no one will be around to see my embarrassment and we will be too far out for him to run for the hills.

I am calling this little hike the father-son vision quest part 1. Part two will come in a couple of years during a high adventure event somewhere deep in the middle of nowhere. In addition to “the talk” we are going to spend some time talking about creating a personal vision of who he is and what he stands for. My tools for this will be the Bible and the Scout handbook. By the end of our hike, it is my hope that he will have a written personal vision statement that he will be proud to share. I also hope that he will strengthen his foundational understanding about sex and how God views his responsibility as a man.

What about you parents?

Have you had the talk? Do you spend time with your kids talking about setting a vision and living a life of honor? What key Bible verses did you use that you would recommend to me?

I will let you know how our Talk goes for us. Pray that I will have the right words to share.


  1. Have you been to the Family Vision workshop? It is one of the BEST family resources I could have ever imagined! There's way too much to summarize here - esp if you have been already been through it... but if not (or for those reading this) check it out at

    The people who run it are Lifers although it is not formally sponsored by Life Church. I believe they just had a local one last weekend, so it may be a while until the next one... but totally worth the experience for what it can bring to your family!

    They teach you how to create a mission, vision, and guiding principles as a family and speak a ton to the father/child relationship, sibling relationships, spouse relationship, family relationships, etc and tie it all into living a Godly life and essentially being deliberate and "planning your family legacy" and parenting with purpose!

    I have an undergrad in business, but an emphasis in social psychology, an MBA and work in corporate America and certainly know the value of visions and missions and the psychology behind actively engaging and having a direction - a focus, a purpose... but this is a totally different, effective way to practically apply direction and purpose to your family...

    I went through this as a single parent as well - and it was still life changing for me and I'm also the parent of a pre-teen (girl!)

  2. This is exciting to think about. Frightening too but thrilling to guide your son into manhood that way. I am still in the early training stages. My boy is only one.