Hyperconnected and still alone

The way we connect to information and to each other has been revolutionized over the last several years. This has come about thanks to the advance of mobile communication devices and social sites like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Pinterest, Blogger, Periscope and on and on. 

We are socially connected more than ever before in history with our fancy devices fundamentally changing the way we communicate. The sad part is that social automation and other technologies are in many cases not bringing people together. For many, it is instead creating an inverse effect with possible “friends” in the thousands but in reality no real relationships.

I am a man. You may be one as well. As men, we are especially at risk to fall into the trap of loneliness and isolation. We are manly men and we are not expected to ever express feelings, show pain or step away from our role of responsibility leading our family from the front into the battles of life. Sure times have changed to soften much of this for many but the reality is that most of us are just hard-wired to be closed emotionally and to press on no matter what we are facing.

The results can be devastating as men struggle and find unhealthy outlets for their disconnected loneliness. Emotional detachment from family, affairs, addictions to porn, and alcohol abuse are just a few of the unfortunate outcomes.

Even less talked about is suicide rates among men. Men commit suicide at a rate that is 4X higher than women and in the US men account for 79% of all suicides. These numbers do not include unreported attempts.

As men what can we learn from all of this? I believe that we must recognize the importance of having a male confidant in our lives. A person that we can have a meaningful and still masculine relationship that allows for openness and sharing. It can be uncomfortable to have truly deep and meaningful conversations with another dude and that is why for most of us this needs to happen while also doing manly things. 

Think being in the outdoors hiking, hunting, chopping wood, building something or just plain doing manly stuff. We are not sit around a smelly candle sipping wine kind of people.

Men let me challenge you to reach out and make a change. You just might save a marriage or even save a life. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lessons from running part 2

Image
I ran the OKC marathon last week and the conditions were challenging to put it mildly. The wind was blowing at 30+ MPH with high humidity and warm temperatures. As recently as two weeks ago, I was anticipating a finish time that would beat my previous marathon by at least ten minutes. Gosh was I wrong and I ended up finishing 45 minutes behind my goal. I knew I had very little chance of meeting my goal within just a few miles of the run since the feedback from my pace and body was telling me I was going to fail. By mile 13 when the run turned south into the wind, my mental capacity to keep running was nearing an end. By mile 15, my calves were cramping and every step was a struggle. My goal at this point was to at least be running each time I passed the spectator areas for the benefit of my friends that were watching and for my family. It was suddenly very important to me that my wife and son did not see me walking (failing). I really knew I was going slow when while running next...
Read more

Where is Superman?

Image
My son loved Superman when he was younger. So much in fact that when he turned three several years ago we decided to have a Superman theme party. Let me tell you it was something. We scoured the Internet until we found almost every Superman item we could. Hats, a tablecloth, cups, cake, you name it we bought it. The heck with the college fund. At the party it was exciting to have the plan come together. All the kids showed up along with the parents. Each had arms full of stuff that I knew I would be tripping over later. His favorite gifts were a pair of bright blue Superman underroos and a cape that a neighbor gave him. I loved watching him run around yelling, “I’m Superman! I’m Superman!” A few days later we went for a walk. Conner of course insisted on wearing his underoos outfit and a pair of tall black rubber boots. I walked behind him as we traveled through the neighborhood and thought about this fascination that most young children have with superheroes. I can reme...
Read more

“You have bigger boobs than me”

Image
“You have bigger boobs than me” Ouch! This was said to me in jest by a girlfriend of mine back in the spring of 1989 as we were eating a big tray of nachos. I was 21 years old at the time and in my fourth year of college. I am person that has struggled with my weight as long as I can remember and it seemed no matter what I tried it would just not come off. As a youth, I remember the teasing from the other kids very clearly. I also remember the feeling as I stood there at gym or recess knowing I was going to be the last person to get picked for whatever sport we were being forced to play. My fear of athletic failure kept me from doing any sports. Exercise was a truly was a stranger to me. Really, up until that moment in 1989 I don’t think my heart had ever risen above 100 BPM unless I was running to grab the last ding dong from the box. The boob comment for some reason though lit a spark in me. I decided at that moment that I was going to change my life. I was going to learn to eat ri...
Read more