davidNprogress

“Take it from a guy with 5 kids. You hope they grow up and move away someday but you want the wife to stay” This was some great advice a few weeks back from a twitter friend as I was having a bit of an internal debate about taking a trip with just the wife while our son is gone on a trip of his own with Scouts. The son was a little mad that we would consider going on a cool mini-vacation without him. This was not something in his 12 years of life that we have ever done. The trip idea is to celebrate our 15th year of married. Truly the advice was a wake up reminder to me that yes the time invested with son is of paramount importance. At the same time, the investment in our husband/wife relationship deserves the same attention. After all, it is our intent to spend the rest of our days on earth together. How many couples focus so much on the kids that when they grow up and leave they are left with no common interests and goals? How many couples after years of kids no longer know how to wo...

I have been working hard this summer to improve my fitness and loose a few pounds. My routine is to alternate between running and cycling. Saturday is my long ride day and I hit the street as soon as there is enough light to ride. For several weeks the riding did not go so well. My frustrations about this difficulty became so great that I was growing concerned about my health. Was something wrong with me? Why so hard? I thought that my fitness was improving! I bonked so hard on one Saturday ride that I had to give up early and head back to the house with a completion of only 35 miles for the day. Then one day while passing by my bike in the garage I suddenly for some strange reason gave the back wheel a little spin. It moved maybe an inch. OOPS! Turns out that for who knows how long the back brake had been pressed against the wheel. I had been in essence riding with the brake on for weeks. You can imagine how that next ride went for me after fixing the break. Suddenly I was blazing do...

The other day I ran across an interesting study about the effectiveness of person praise vs process praise. Here is a link to the study if you are interested in reading. In a nutshell, the hypothesis was that children would perform better and would be willing to take on harder tasks if the feedback focused more on strategies and effort (process) vs trait (Person) related feedback. Think, “Wow Sally! You did great on the exercise! I can tell that you are great person” vs. “Wow Sally! You did great on that exercise. The extra effort you did to study the process involved made a real difference in making you successful” I have taught this for years at the Situation/Action/Result (SAR) model. Following this simple model while giving feedback is very effective. Situation: Sally you knew the test was going to be a hard one didn't you? Action: I really appreciate the way you took extra time to study Result: You got and A thanks to the extra effort! An even better technique would be for Sa...

If you have read my blog any at all you might guess that I would have a lot to say about the importance of fathers. I would like to challenge all the current and future dads out there to take a moment and reflect deeply on your role. You have a generational impact on your family. How will you choose to make use of this responsibility? Will you run away seeking the shinny object in your life? This object could be your career, your hobby, your neighbor’s wife and any of the thousands of other distractions that get men off track. Chasing the object will never match the importance or the joy you will get from a loving child that is looking to you for leadership and teaching. The bottom line is that you are important! Don't believe me? Check out the research Still don’t believe me? Ask your wife or child’s mother Still don’t believe me? Look into the eyes of your child and ask him/her Our children and boys especially are experiencing a crises caused by a lack of positive father leaders...

This is a pretty good video a kid made about growing up without a father in the home and the great work mom has done. It seems appropriate for the week.

The message at church last week was about integrity and it got me thinking about the topic… On a cold and rainy Saturday a couple of years ago my son and I decided to take in a movie. This is not an unusual thing for us since Saturday’s have traditionally been father/son-days for us. There were few people in the theater and as we walked out of the show I noticed the movie next door to us was about the start. Suddenly the idea of popping right into another movie sounded like a lot of fun. I quickly made the suggestion and the look of excitement on his face was priceless. When we got in the theater we noticed another dad and his kids had done the same thing. I don’t remember the movie being particularly good. The enjoyment from my son had to be that we were getting away with seeing two movies for the price of one. Oops! Suddenly I realized what I was doing. In a way I was teaching my son that it was ok to steal. Sure it was only movie but the reality was we were there and had not pai...

As a dad, I have many responsibilities when raising my son. One I take very seriously is preparing him to be a Godly and supportive husband in the future. The fact is: The way I treat my wife today is the way my son most likely will treat his wife in the future. I desire my son to grow up and someday marry an incredible woman that will love support him. My wife gets this fact too and together we have a somewhat deliberate strategy that luckily comes pretty naturally to us. Here are a few tips: 1.Love each other in public: Tell her you love her in ear shot of your child. Let him see that you mean it! 2.Compliment when alone: I love complimenting Michelle when she is not around. I tell my son what a wonderful (and beautiful) wife she is and give examples why. 3.Never EVER put down your spouse: Your child is not the person to have a “Your mom is so___” conversation with. Don’t forget there is a difference between being a friend and a parent. 4.Respect her beauty: I just hate to see gu...