davidNprogress

Conner turns 13 this week and this birthday is weighing heavily on my heart. Last weekend on the Scout campout he was put in charge by the Scoutmaster as Senior Patrol Leader (SPL). As he organized and instructed 30 + adults and Scouts I was amazing and wondered “is this really my son” (Scouting is a youth run program and the boys plan and are in charge of everything) I so enjoyed standing afar just watching him as he interacted with everyone. It is amazing to think that just 12 years ago at this time I was battling cancer with treatments and planning for the worse. At the time my only prayer was to live long enough that he would remember me. My father died when I was very young and I have no memories of him. Now as he enters the teen years he is becoming more and more his own person and I can see glimpses of the man he will be very soon. Sitting here today, I am so thankful the Lord chose to give me this time. I want to treasure every moment and be the best father that I am capable of...

The weather guy last night said we are losing about 10 minutes of daylight a week now. “A sure sign that fall is coming”. Wow it certainly does not feel like fall outside with the sun blazing and temperatures in the 100’s. He was right though, fall is marching towards us and there is no holding back the inevitability of the new season. Changes in life and work are a lot like those ten minutes a week. Sure, we have the big wham bam changes but in reality the movement comes in small subtle increments over a long period of time. Pounds lost come in small choices like a salad vs. a cheeseburger at lunch. A broken relationship comes in random negative comments and missed opportunities to uplift one another. We have all heard about not sweating the small stuff but in so many ways it is the small stuff in life that makes the biggest difference over time. I think for this week I am not going to worry about big things and instead will just focus on the 10.

“Take it from a guy with 5 kids. You hope they grow up and move away someday but you want the wife to stay” This was some great advice a few weeks back from a twitter friend as I was having a bit of an internal debate about taking a trip with just the wife while our son is gone on a trip of his own with Scouts. The son was a little mad that we would consider going on a cool mini-vacation without him. This was not something in his 12 years of life that we have ever done. The trip idea is to celebrate our 15th year of married. Truly the advice was a wake up reminder to me that yes the time invested with son is of paramount importance. At the same time, the investment in our husband/wife relationship deserves the same attention. After all, it is our intent to spend the rest of our days on earth together. How many couples focus so much on the kids that when they grow up and leave they are left with no common interests and goals? How many couples after years of kids no longer know how to wo...

I have been working hard this summer to improve my fitness and loose a few pounds. My routine is to alternate between running and cycling. Saturday is my long ride day and I hit the street as soon as there is enough light to ride. For several weeks the riding did not go so well. My frustrations about this difficulty became so great that I was growing concerned about my health. Was something wrong with me? Why so hard? I thought that my fitness was improving! I bonked so hard on one Saturday ride that I had to give up early and head back to the house with a completion of only 35 miles for the day. Then one day while passing by my bike in the garage I suddenly for some strange reason gave the back wheel a little spin. It moved maybe an inch. OOPS! Turns out that for who knows how long the back brake had been pressed against the wheel. I had been in essence riding with the brake on for weeks. You can imagine how that next ride went for me after fixing the break. Suddenly I was blazing do...

The other day I ran across an interesting study about the effectiveness of person praise vs process praise. Here is a link to the study if you are interested in reading. In a nutshell, the hypothesis was that children would perform better and would be willing to take on harder tasks if the feedback focused more on strategies and effort (process) vs trait (Person) related feedback. Think, “Wow Sally! You did great on the exercise! I can tell that you are great person” vs. “Wow Sally! You did great on that exercise. The extra effort you did to study the process involved made a real difference in making you successful” I have taught this for years at the Situation/Action/Result (SAR) model. Following this simple model while giving feedback is very effective. Situation: Sally you knew the test was going to be a hard one didn't you? Action: I really appreciate the way you took extra time to study Result: You got and A thanks to the extra effort! An even better technique would be for Sa...

If you have read my blog any at all you might guess that I would have a lot to say about the importance of fathers. I would like to challenge all the current and future dads out there to take a moment and reflect deeply on your role. You have a generational impact on your family. How will you choose to make use of this responsibility? Will you run away seeking the shinny object in your life? This object could be your career, your hobby, your neighbor’s wife and any of the thousands of other distractions that get men off track. Chasing the object will never match the importance or the joy you will get from a loving child that is looking to you for leadership and teaching. The bottom line is that you are important! Don't believe me? Check out the research Still don’t believe me? Ask your wife or child’s mother Still don’t believe me? Look into the eyes of your child and ask him/her Our children and boys especially are experiencing a crises caused by a lack of positive father leaders...

This is a pretty good video a kid made about growing up without a father in the home and the great work mom has done. It seems appropriate for the week.