davidNprogress

The time is now Conner is starting his final fall semester of college and will essentially be done with his degree at the end of this semester. The spring will bring his capstone class, graduation and the start of being fully on his own. It is the dream of every parent for their child to grow up and exceed the life they have lived. We want our children to have an amazing life with a good job, a loving family, financial success, adventure, service to the community and a heart for God. I grew up without strong dreams for all of these things and yet somehow ended up blessed to have much of them. Could I have done more and could I have been more? Absolutely! Nonetheless, we have done our best to live our lives as a positive example for our son and fully expect that he will move on to excel in his own way on his own journey. The path to this point has not come without adversity. Conner is a survivor after having experienced the great trama of his cliff accident his senior year ...

Have you ever seen the movie, Gladiator? It is one of my all-time favorites and I have watched it many times. The lead character Maximus is one of those guys every man would wish to be. He is a true man’s man that is willing to die in the name of honor as he seeks to avenge the death of his beloved Emperor and family. My favorite scene in the movie takes place as Maximus is standing in line with the other Gladiators awaiting his first fight in the grand coliseum of Rome. Slowly he rubs some soil in his hands and soon after a terrified man in front of him pees on himself out of fear. There is no fear in the heart of Maximus. Instead, there is a steadfast resolve to face whatever challenge awaits on the other side of the gate. Soon after the epic arena battle has been won the evil Emperor and murderer of his family asks “who are you?” And here is his famous answer : In many ways, I see this as a picture of the battle that is our lives. Every day we are stepping into a...

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 Life is a series of up and downs and if you are not currently fighting a storm I can assure you that one is on the way. It is easy while in the midst of a difficult time to forget all that we have in life to be thankful. That is one reason that for many years now I have begun most days with a mindset of gratitude. Most mornings and especially on Mondays I make an effort to reflect on the many things I have to be thankful about in my life. How can I have a bad week when there is so much good around me? I try to affirm daily the good in my life and begin my day with thanks for what I have now and the opportunity to have even more in the future. I do this with a prayer thanking God for the present blessings in my life and for the opportunity a new day represents. Doing so only takes a few minutes of quiet ...

Imagine you are standing at the end of a washed-out bridge with people blindly driving your way all unaware of the fate that will behold them if they do not change their direction right away. You would, to the best of your ability, do all you could to get them to stop and go another way. As a 50+-year-old genX-debt free-cancer survivor, I feel this way about many topics. Marriage, parenting, health, career, finances are all areas that by this point in life I have learned many lessons. Some through my own great mistakes and many through educated hard work successes. My strongest obsession now for several years is a desire to retire without want. The journey began early in my working life when I first read The Millionaire Next Door. I was at the time single and making less than $25,000. It was amazing to learn at my young age that there is a path to wealth even for the average person.  That seed of hope was small and at the time did not take full root other than to get me ...

I can still remember that morning as if it were yesterday. I was in the shower as usual and while washing under my arm I felt a lump. After just a few moments of pressing, there was no doubt in my mind what it was. Cancer Cancer was not a stranger to me as I had a mole removed from my back that was melanoma five years before and my mother had passed away recently after several years of her own battle. So strong was my concern, that prior to asking Michelle to marry me I had visited the oncologist to ask about my own risks. He told me at the time not to worry and go live my life. Little did I know that this same doctor would design the battle that was to come in an effort to keep it. I got dressed that morning without saying a word and dropped eight-month-old Conner off at daycare as if nothing was wrong. Next was a call the oncologist and a visit to hear from him. In the exam room the dr. pressed under my arm to confirm the lump was indeed there along with a second s...

“The world is what we think it is. If we can change our thoughts we can change the world” H.M. Tomlison A funny thing about attitudes is that they are as contagious as colds. We truly tend to catch whichever one we surround ourselves with most. No one is immune. I have often found myself in a circle of negativity fully participating in the downtrodden conversation about how terrible this or that or him or she is. Soon thereafter upon reflection, I often end up feeling a genuine sense of shame that I chose to take part and more importantly chose to enable. There was a day during my chemotherapy that served as perhaps the best reminder. I was sitting quietly in the waiting room before the start of my treatments when the nurse came in to get the gentleman sitting next to me. This guy was in obvious pain, poor health and was well advanced in age. The nurse asked, “How are you today?” Without missing a beat he replied, “Wonderful! My eyes opened this morning and the Lord has bles...

“The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to...failure.” ― John Maxwell One of the key traits of successful people is a willingness to fail. There are many people out there that have never failed due to having never taken a risk. They have instead chosen the low road in life. The higher you try to climb the further you may fall after all. The risk taker steps out in front of the crowd to try. She takes the risk, fails, learns and then goes at it again with a new and improved strategy. This concept is known as failing forward and only a few have this great capacity. No one wants to be a failure but there are those who see missteps merely as chances to find new ways to win. Far too many people unfortunately use the fear of failure as an excuse not to try. Perhaps they were a poor student before so the thought of spending money to go back to school brings memories of emotions felt when that “F” arrived.  Ma...

Fourteen years ago today I completed my final radiation treatment after a whirlwind 9 months of lumps, surgeries, lost hope, chemo and finally healing. Yes it was many years ago but at this time of year it seems like yesterday. That is not a bad thing as each Christmas Eve I get a wonderful reminder of how incredibly blessed I am. This is true really for anyone breathing today. If you are alive you have a chance to make today and tomorrow even better. You can forget the past and move forward in hope of a better future. There are a lot of crazy things going on in the world today and it can get so easy to be discouraged. I do not understand the whys behind sadness and tragedy. I think if you spend too much time on it the only result is to become bleak and bitter. Who really wants to live that way? I am taking a new look this year as I move into my 15 th year. I chose not wonder about the why but instead take the special moments and just be thankful I am here and still have a ch...

With so many fallen heroes around us it would be easy to become embittered and think our world lacks people of character who live more for others than for themselves. My observation is just the opposite with Luke N. as a mighty example. Luke in 2012 Luke embodies everything that is positive about the  Livestrong.org movement. He is only a teen and yet inspired by Livestrong.org and the Lance Armstrong story he has raised thousands of dollars over the years to fight cancer and he has grown to be one of the top young cyclists in the state of Oklahoma. His speed is powered as much by a passion to help others as it is by the countless hours of training and racing. Luke rides for me and Luke rides for the millions of others like me that have been impacted by cancer. He has even gone so far as to found his own fundraising ride that will grow even larger next year I am sure . Thank you Luke for who you are and for all that you are doing for the good of others. Stay inspire...

With Lance in 1999 Finally I have come to openly accept that Lance Armstrong cheated during his reign as the Tour De France champion and as the allegations spread over the years he engaged in a fierce campaign of denial to protect his reputation , his legacy and his foundation. Whew that hurts to write yet at the same time also feels good to face the truth openly. There is a big part of me that did not want to ever admit to what happened. Deep inside I wanted to him to remain on the pedestal his legend created. After all, Lance and I did go through our cancer experiences around the same time. I even met him in person back in 1999 as I too was working on my personal comeback from cancer to start a life changed forever by the experience. Like millions of others, I wore the bracelet and felt inspired as he won tour after tour. Most of all, I saw firsthand the inspiration and good work that would become Livestrong.org. Now thanks to piles of undeniable evidence my one time h...

I am turning 45 in a couple of weeks and that has put me in a bit of a reflective mood I guess. It really did not help that one of my magazines had an article this month about starting the second half of your life at 45. Next while checking my Roth this week realized I am only 15 years away from 60! I know there is a midlife crises phenomenon that many people experience around this time as they seek to create new achievements or to return to old glory days. Funny thing is that I happen to think I am living my glory days right now with more to come in the future. I have a great job, loving wife (beautiful too BTW), amazing teenage son, and a full plate of volunteer work with kids that help make life fun. There are many great days behind me and I am sure there are even better days ahead. For sure there are big changes with our son soon off to college and a new stage in our married life as empty nesters. I am excited about the future and genuinely thankful to wake up to a new day ...

12/24 is my 13th anniversary since completing my final cancer treatment. Those days seem so long ago and at the same time are completely etched into who I am. Every year at this time I think of the blessing that is my wonderful life. I am thankful for my continued good health, the joy of my family, the amazing Scouts, my job and most of all the love of my Lord. Once again I hope to honor this time by making the most of it every day. I hope you too will pause at some point over the next few days imagine your life as it really is. It is life worth living with gusto and passion. It is a life that should be filled with laughter, love and adventure. Most of all, it is a life that should be dedicated to being a positive servant to those around you. We only get one chance to impact this world and I hope your life however long makes a difference! Merry Christmas!

An amazing and powerful video about melanoma. I was one of those with the less than 10% chance of survival and here I am living the thriving 13 years later. I count December 24th as my cancer free anniversary as that was the last day of my final radiation treatment. It is wonderful in many ways to have this important milestone on such an important day. Those days seem so long ago and yet remain so very vivid in my mind and a part of who I am. Please share the video with someone you love. Maybe it will help save a life!

Twelve years would seem to be a long time. For me, it feels as if it were just yesterday in many ways. It was twelve years ago on the 24th that I completed my final radiation treatment after several months of battling cancer. My journey started with a lump and then moved on with surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation, prayer, tears, fear and hope. (not necessarily in that order) Being a cancer survivor is very much part of who I am as a person. I will not rehash my story since I wrote extensively about it last year . I simply want to thank the Lord for continuing to bless me with this wonderful life. Quite honestly I still struggle at times to understand why I was chosen to be healed and to beat the statistics. The life we have is an incredible gift and cancer survivor or not we should all live as if it could be taken away at any moment. Would you live your life any differently if you knew you were terminal? Fact is we all are but just don’t know the date. Make the most of the gifts...

Conner turns 13 this week and this birthday is weighing heavily on my heart. Last weekend on the Scout campout he was put in charge by the Scoutmaster as Senior Patrol Leader (SPL). As he organized and instructed 30 + adults and Scouts I was amazing and wondered “is this really my son” (Scouting is a youth run program and the boys plan and are in charge of everything) I so enjoyed standing afar just watching him as he interacted with everyone. It is amazing to think that just 12 years ago at this time I was battling cancer with treatments and planning for the worse. At the time my only prayer was to live long enough that he would remember me. My father died when I was very young and I have no memories of him. Now as he enters the teen years he is becoming more and more his own person and I can see glimpses of the man he will be very soon. Sitting here today, I am so thankful the Lord chose to give me this time. I want to treasure every moment and be the best father that I am capable of...

Skipping to end As you may have guessed things worked out for me and my life indeed is a miracle. The final radiation treatment was Christmas Eve 11 years ago today. It is wonderfully symbolic to think I completed my medical salvation on the day before celebrating the birth of the savior of my soul, heart and mind. I would like to say I am now fully cancer free but the reality is that I do not think I will ever really be free. Years ago when I going though all the treatments I would often I fall to my knees and ask God “why me?” Now years later I find myself asking the same question but in a different way. Instead I pray; “Why me Lord? Why was I healed when there are so many others out there hurting? What lesson(s) do you have for me? What am I to do with this gift?” The reality if life is that we all should be asking ourselves these questions everyday. Any life we have is a gift and it should be treasured and shared in a positive way with others. The Bible says, “life is no longer t...

Note: On 12/24 it will be 11 years since I completed my final cancer treatment. This week I am writing reflectively a bit about my experience. My chemo treatments were an all day affair at the doctor’s office in his treatment room. Hopefully you have never had to visit one of these rooms. Mine was filled with large recliners set side by side and I was typically by many years the youngest person receiving a treatment. The type of chemo I received was different from the other folks in that I got it all in one long day and I did not lose my hair. The in office treatment was followed by immunotherapy through self administered shots in the evening. I will spare the details only to say the reaction to the interferon was far worse than the chemotherapy. The miracle here was that the therapy began to shrink the tumors faster and to a smaller size than the Dr’s had believed were possible. Suddenly the prospect of having the tumors surgically removed became an unexpected reality. In this second ...

Note: On 12/24 it will be 11 years since I completed my final cancer treatment. This week I am writing reflectively a bit about my experience. (continued from yesterday) The early tests and conversations with the medical team were not encouraging. I had five tumors all in my lymph nodes with three under my arm and two near my neck. It is bad to have tumors in two places and so far from the original mole as this meant the cancer had metastasized. Quickly the doctors set out a plan for me that first included surgery to be followed chemotherapy, immunotherapy, surgery again if possible and finally radiation. My cancer was declared Stage IV. This is not good news for any cancer and especially with Melanoma. The best five year survival rate I could find on the Internet for a stage IV patient was 19% with most sites showing an even smaller % chance to live. For hours I would just stare at my computer screen and read over and over statements like this one: “Modest progress has been made in th...

Note: 12/24 is the 11th anniversary of my final cancer treatment. I will never forget that morning. I woke up just like any other day and started my normal routine. Little did I know that my life was about to change forever. I was in the shower enjoying a steamy start to another exciting day. Life was good. New job, new house, wonderful wife and a beautiful nine month old son peacefully sleeping in his room. At 31 years old, the world of possibilities was finally opening a door for me. Then as I washed under my arm I felt it—I pressed hard to confirm it was there and when doing so found a second one. I immediately and without a shadow of doubt in my mind knew what I had discovered--Cancer I was no stranger to the possibility. It was five years earlier when a mole had been removed from my back and declared melanoma. However, after such a long length of time I had become confident I would not have to deal with this again. Suddenly, and without any forewarning that confidence was gone. I ...

Today is Livestrong day. www.livestrong.org Lance Armstrong and the Livestrong foundation are using this day as an opportunity to increase cancer awareness and to celebrate the lives of those suffering from this disease. This morning I quickly jotted down five things I learned through my cancer experience and have tweeted them as the day went by. These are not in any particular order and are just the tip of what I have learned. 1. Relationships matter most. Relationship with my Lord, my family and others 2. Life is not about me. It is about serving and loving others 3. Pain in life is unavoidable but suffering is optional 4. The greatest joys in life are found in the smallest of moments. 5. Cancer changes you forever—even if you are “free” of the disease it never really leaves you Are you a cancer survivor or have you been impacted in some way by cancer? If so, what have you learned from the experience?