davidNprogress

I met my wife over 26 years ago as a result of a blind date and our 24 year anniversary of marriage was last week. That simple lunchtime together led to more dates, marriage, a child and wonderful life that has had its fair share of ups and downs. Through it all, I have striven to be as good of a partner and a husband as I can. I have often failed to live up to my own standards and have tried to take in my inner lessons to be better with every year. It is almost cliche’ for some guys to joke about having married up but I can tell you for sure that is the case for me. I often feel unworthy of this woman I get to spend my days with and want to ensure I am doing my best to live up to being the man she deserves. This week is the start of our 25th year of marriage and a good time to reflect back on what has made our marriage a success and mistakes I have made along the way. It takes a proactive effort to live a life together that thrives through the grind of day to day living and...

Have you ever seen the movie, Gladiator? It is one of my all-time favorites and I have watched it many times. The lead character Maximus is one of those guys every man would wish to be. He is a true man’s man that is willing to die in the name of honor as he seeks to avenge the death of his beloved Emperor and family. My favorite scene in the movie takes place as Maximus is standing in line with the other Gladiators awaiting his first fight in the grand coliseum of Rome. Slowly he rubs some soil in his hands and soon after a terrified man in front of him pees on himself out of fear. There is no fear in the heart of Maximus. Instead, there is a steadfast resolve to face whatever challenge awaits on the other side of the gate. Soon after the epic arena battle has been won the evil Emperor and murderer of his family asks “who are you?” And here is his famous answer : In many ways, I see this as a picture of the battle that is our lives. Every day we are stepping into a...

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 Life is a series of up and downs and if you are not currently fighting a storm I can assure you that one is on the way. It is easy while in the midst of a difficult time to forget all that we have in life to be thankful. That is one reason that for many years now I have begun most days with a mindset of gratitude. Most mornings and especially on Mondays I make an effort to reflect on the many things I have to be thankful about in my life. How can I have a bad week when there is so much good around me? I try to affirm daily the good in my life and begin my day with thanks for what I have now and the opportunity to have even more in the future. I do this with a prayer thanking God for the present blessings in my life and for the opportunity a new day represents. Doing so only takes a few minutes of quiet ...

Our family spent a few days in Colorado recently and it was wonderful to soak in the cool mountain air and view the beauty that can only be found in the great American west. I have kiddingly said many times that my happy place is on a mountain rock contemplating life. On this trip, however, I took the time to realize that my happy place is really not a place at all. It is a moment. It is a simple time on the couch with my wife talking about our whacky dog. It is a conversation with our college-age son about his current success and plans for the future. It is that moment on the bike side by side with others striving for personal fitness while enjoying some great comradery. It is at work when a new employee shares excitement about starting a job here and what it means for their life. Happy is not a place. It is an ability to recognize the small moments that really make this life worth living and taking time to smile at the moment. As a new week begins, I am challenging myse...

There are many men that when they pass a certain age lose their way. Statistics show that divorce rates and depression for men after 50 are growing with male suicide rates now peaking after 50. Little is known as to the reason why but my best guess is that many men turn to this decade of life, join the empty nest then look around and say, “now what?”. Looking back there were once dreams of big jobs, big houses, big bank accounts, and small waistlines. Instead for many men we look around and find life has not quite turned out as expected. We think “Retirement is coming but I have no plan” “Our child-centered marriage has changed and left my wife and me with little in common” “Our friends were based on our child circle and they have moved on” “The job of my dreams is now just a grind” “The body I see in the mirror is of an old man. The athlete in me is gone” “Now what?”  “Now what?” Most men by nature keep these deep fears to ourselves and avoid sharing. If not addresse...

Twenty years ago last week Michelle and I started the amazing journey of marriage together. Just a few years prior to that grand day we had met on a blind date through a mutual friend. Now many years later we are at a beginning again of sorts as we are stepping into life together as empty nesters since our only child has now moved off to college. It is very appropriate in a way to have this anniversary and the transition to a new life together in the same year. These many years have been amazing and full of adventures, joy, heartache, togetherness, challenges learning and most of all love. I can remember clearly in the years leading prior to meeting Michelle wondering if I would ever meet someone that I would marry and spend the rest of my life with. There were times when I thought it would never happen. That simple blind date led me to a person that I had been praying and hoping for all my life.  I relish my time with Michelle. She is the perfect spouse, mother and fr...

The way we connect to information and to each other has been revolutionized over the last several years. This has come about thanks to the advance of mobile communication devices and social sites like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Pinterest, Blogger, Periscope and on and on.  We are socially connected more than ever before in history with our fancy devices fundamentally changing the way we communicate. The sad part is that social automation and other technologies are in many cases not bringing people together. For many, it is instead creating an inverse effect with possible “friends” in the thousands but in reality no real relationships. I am a man. You may be one as well. As men, we are especially at risk to fall into the trap of loneliness and isolation. We are manly men and we are not expected to ever express feelings, show pain or step away from our role of responsibility leading our family from the front into the battles of life. Sure times have changed to soften much ...

“I am so sorry. I was off a few days on vacation with my family and did not keep up with e-mail.” This was the opening comment from a manager I met with recently. Later in the day while in another meeting I asked a manager peer about her recent time off. Me—“How was your vacation?” Person—“Good but I did not do any work!” “I am so behind!” Such is the life of exempt level employees and especially managers. We find ways to leave work but work never leaves us. Our competitive work culture creates added pressure as time away can mean missed opportunities to contribute to key projects. This can lead to a perception of low value which in turn later can lead you to being the person selected for the next layoff. Not necessarily true but that is what many people think as they ponder time away from work. Now let’s add to all of this the new hyper connected world we live in. Thanks to phones and tablets we are now connected to work 24x7. There is no excuse at all to mi...

Like many people I know, I avoid shopping at Wal-Mart as much as possible. I loathe the dozens of cashier stations with typically just a small percentage open. I cringe at the thought of using the terrible self-service kiosks that always seem to crash when I use them while gleefully exclaiming, “item not found in bag” when I try to pay. Oh the agony. Then of course there are the people of Wal-Mart. It seems the store brings in a lower class of poorly dressed and equally poorly behaved people shopping in pajamas, house shoes and no bras. Give me the high class folks of Target or a locally owned store any day. Just other day the son and I were forced to shop in Wal-Mart together for an item that could not be found anywhere else. We bravely fought the holiday crowd while at the same time gaining great amusement feeling good about ourselves by making fun of the people in the store. Huh? I was no further away from the store than the parking lot when the whole thing c...

“The world is what we think it is. If we can change our thoughts we can change the world” H.M. Tomlison A funny thing about attitudes is that they are as contagious as colds. We truly tend to catch whichever one we surround ourselves with most. No one is immune. I have often found myself in a circle of negativity fully participating in the downtrodden conversation about how terrible this or that or him or she is. Soon thereafter upon reflection, I often end up feeling a genuine sense of shame that I chose to take part and more importantly chose to enable. There was a day during my chemotherapy that served as perhaps the best reminder. I was sitting quietly in the waiting room before the start of my treatments when the nurse came in to get the gentleman sitting next to me. This guy was in obvious pain, poor health and was well advanced in age. The nurse asked, “How are you today?” Without missing a beat he replied, “Wonderful! My eyes opened this morning and the Lord has bles...

Conner is 16 now and it seems lately I have been thinking more and more about his future. What kind of man will he be? How will he do in college? Will his dream of becoming a petroleum engineer come true? Will he go on to have a big house, nice car and fat bank account? That stuff is all well and good but the bottom line really is that I just want him to be a Godly man and happy person no matter what path he takes to get there. I also hope that he is blessed to find a great woman to be his wife and partner through life’s journey. It is kind of surreal to think that his future wife is out there now. This week she will go to class, hang out with friends and I am sure spend a bunch of time texting. She is also daily making choices and developing relationship skills that will impact her and Conner’s future. The teen years are the most formative in determining who we become in the future. Right now she is learning what it means to be part of a family.   Her parents could be marri...

Have you ever fallen into the frequency trap? So much of life is a simple matter of routine. Same drive to work. Same people surrounding you. Same church on Sunday, Same chicken dinner every Tuesday and on and on and on it goes. Frequency creates numbness to our surroundings and often to our life. To break free, many people end up seeking a rush hoping to escape and find excitement. This can be positive with goals to learn new skills, go on a special trip, try that food that cannot be pronounced, start that devotional, go for that dream job. Of course there are unhealthy ways to break out that often lead to debt, distress and even divorce. Getting un-numb productively takes work but most of all takes awareness. It seems too often that we take for granted those things that are frequent. The seemingly mundane can be our best window to happiness if we simply take a moment to realize these are the moments that truly make our lives meaningful. There is no need to go jump out of a pla...

“The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to...failure.” ― John Maxwell One of the key traits of successful people is a willingness to fail. There are many people out there that have never failed due to having never taken a risk. They have instead chosen the low road in life. The higher you try to climb the further you may fall after all. The risk taker steps out in front of the crowd to try. She takes the risk, fails, learns and then goes at it again with a new and improved strategy. This concept is known as failing forward and only a few have this great capacity. No one wants to be a failure but there are those who see missteps merely as chances to find new ways to win. Far too many people unfortunately use the fear of failure as an excuse not to try. Perhaps they were a poor student before so the thought of spending money to go back to school brings memories of emotions felt when that “F” arrived.  Ma...

With Lance in 1999 Finally I have come to openly accept that Lance Armstrong cheated during his reign as the Tour De France champion and as the allegations spread over the years he engaged in a fierce campaign of denial to protect his reputation , his legacy and his foundation. Whew that hurts to write yet at the same time also feels good to face the truth openly. There is a big part of me that did not want to ever admit to what happened. Deep inside I wanted to him to remain on the pedestal his legend created. After all, Lance and I did go through our cancer experiences around the same time. I even met him in person back in 1999 as I too was working on my personal comeback from cancer to start a life changed forever by the experience. Like millions of others, I wore the bracelet and felt inspired as he won tour after tour. Most of all, I saw firsthand the inspiration and good work that would become Livestrong.org. Now thanks to piles of undeniable evidence my one time h...

“Yes there is no tooth fairy.” I said these words to my son a couple of years ago as tears flowed down his cheeks. He had been to the dentist a few days before and unknown to us had hid the tooth under his pillow without telling mom and dad as a little test. Over the years, I had always had a “if he asks I will tell” policy about the tooth fairy and about Santa. The problem was that he so steadfastly believed me that there was in his mind no need to ask. After all, why would his parents ever mislead their own son? Oh there were signs of the trauma to come. Just a few months earlier in the car a boy had asked Conner if he still believed in Santa. The response was, “Of course I do. My dad told me there is a Santa and that means it is true. End of story.” My heart just fell out of my chest in the front seat of the car. The point my son made about the tooth fairy (and Santa) was sound and unarguable. I started with the line about traditions and about how my mother had told me about the too...