davidNprogress

The voice--We have all heard it. It comes at us in those moments when we take a new step toward achievement or when we are thinking about taking a risk. For some people, the voice is good and motivational. It tells you that you are worthy of success and that you can meet your goals. For many others, the voice is different and debilitating. “Don’t bother with the diet. You have failed losing weight in the past and this time will be no different” “Don’t go on that blind date. You suck at relationships and are destined to live alone” “Don’t sign up for the run. You have never really exercised before and it is just not possible.” “Don’t go back to school. Your previous educational experience was a struggle and you are not smart enough to succeed.” "There is no point to getting out of debt. You will never be financially free" Your inner voice can get so full of don’ts that eventually it shoves out all the dos leaving you in a pattern of regret. H...

As years go, 2014 is going to go down as one of my most challenging yet. It began in early January as I stepped on the scale and came to the stark realization that my weight was right at the tip of my limit. The preceding months had been difficult with work experiencing a time of layoffs again and my health being impacted by pain in my knees which in turn had led to a complete lack of exercise and a visit to the cellar off my internal motivation. Looking ahead to the New Year, I knew I had to take control of my life and not let another 12 months go by that I would look into the mirror with regret. I had great optimism knowing the year was set to be full of several wonderful milestones. This was the year we were going to be debt free, experience high adventure in Canada, see the start of Conner’s senior year and begin the transition to being an empty nester. I had no idea at the time that it would bring another layoff at work and a family crisis at a level we had never experienced b...

In my role as a Scout volunteer, I recently had the chance to learn a little about techniques to use in a crisis situation as part of the Wilderness Survival merit badge. There was something about the STOP model in the training that struck me as valuable for my personal life as well. The point of the discussion was that often when people get lost there is panic which in turn ends up making the situation worse. There are many examples of people that in crises decided to blaze a way out of dangerous situations by panicking and running through the woods. These folks soon find themselves in even more despair, lost and alone. I realize now that I often make this same error as a parent, husband, and manager. Like many others, I see a problem and I want to immediately jump to a solution. Men are notorious about solution jumping when our wives bring a problem. How different might the outcome be however if I simply followed this model instead. S it=Find some time alone in a ...

Fourteen years ago today I completed my final radiation treatment after a whirlwind 9 months of lumps, surgeries, lost hope, chemo and finally healing. Yes it was many years ago but at this time of year it seems like yesterday. That is not a bad thing as each Christmas Eve I get a wonderful reminder of how incredibly blessed I am. This is true really for anyone breathing today. If you are alive you have a chance to make today and tomorrow even better. You can forget the past and move forward in hope of a better future. There are a lot of crazy things going on in the world today and it can get so easy to be discouraged. I do not understand the whys behind sadness and tragedy. I think if you spend too much time on it the only result is to become bleak and bitter. Who really wants to live that way? I am taking a new look this year as I move into my 15 th year. I chose not wonder about the why but instead take the special moments and just be thankful I am here and still have a ch...

“If you learn unhappiness too well you will get good at it”  David after 11 days on the trail  This is a great slap in the face quote I heard recently from one of my favorite podcasters. The point was that the more time we spend unhappy then the more we will become comfortable with it. I went on an 11 day hiking trip this summer and one of the rules was that we were not allowed to wear deodorant due to it being a smellable that could potentially attract bears. I wondered before the trip if an attack from a bear would be better than the smell of a group of unwashed and un-deodorized teen boys. Whew! I realized on the trail this was not going to be a problem since we very quickly got used to our own smells and soon none of us noticed the stink. Things changed quickly however upon my return home when suddenly the smells that had surrounded me without notice attacked the senses much like a rampaging bear. Of course much of this was due to the equally powerful remarks from my ...

I just happened to notice last week that my next davidnprogress post was going to me my 100 th . This is a bit of milestone which calls for an extraordinary and ground breaking post of life changing dimensions. Instead I thought I would write this. Why do I write? Well that is a good question. Certainly it is not for any fame, money or recognition. It is not for popularity either given that a really good total viewership of a post for me is somewhere around 50 views. (Thank you readers!) I write as form of therapy and accountability. My best posts have come during times of frustration either with myself or with others. It is pretty hard to give advice about life and parenting and not strive to live by that very same advice. There have been many times that I have read my own post to help me through a difficult time. I have some favorites as you might imagine and so in no particular order here are a few of them. Where is Superman Leave them better than you found them Got Gratit...