davidNprogress

I met my wife over 26 years ago as a result of a blind date and our 24 year anniversary of marriage was last week. That simple lunchtime together led to more dates, marriage, a child and wonderful life that has had its fair share of ups and downs. Through it all, I have striven to be as good of a partner and a husband as I can. I have often failed to live up to my own standards and have tried to take in my inner lessons to be better with every year. It is almost cliche’ for some guys to joke about having married up but I can tell you for sure that is the case for me. I often feel unworthy of this woman I get to spend my days with and want to ensure I am doing my best to live up to being the man she deserves. This week is the start of our 25th year of marriage and a good time to reflect back on what has made our marriage a success and mistakes I have made along the way. It takes a proactive effort to live a life together that thrives through the grind of day to day living and...

The time is now Conner is starting his final fall semester of college and will essentially be done with his degree at the end of this semester. The spring will bring his capstone class, graduation and the start of being fully on his own. It is the dream of every parent for their child to grow up and exceed the life they have lived. We want our children to have an amazing life with a good job, a loving family, financial success, adventure, service to the community and a heart for God. I grew up without strong dreams for all of these things and yet somehow ended up blessed to have much of them. Could I have done more and could I have been more? Absolutely! Nonetheless, we have done our best to live our lives as a positive example for our son and fully expect that he will move on to excel in his own way on his own journey. The path to this point has not come without adversity. Conner is a survivor after having experienced the great trama of his cliff accident his senior year ...

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 Life is a series of up and downs and if you are not currently fighting a storm I can assure you that one is on the way. It is easy while in the midst of a difficult time to forget all that we have in life to be thankful. That is one reason that for many years now I have begun most days with a mindset of gratitude. Most mornings and especially on Mondays I make an effort to reflect on the many things I have to be thankful about in my life. How can I have a bad week when there is so much good around me? I try to affirm daily the good in my life and begin my day with thanks for what I have now and the opportunity to have even more in the future. I do this with a prayer thanking God for the present blessings in my life and for the opportunity a new day represents. Doing so only takes a few minutes of quiet ...

If you read my previous post you understand the importance of goal setting to reach success. You must also be committed to joining the 9% club by following through with what you want to achieve. Everyone is different and how you organize your goals needs to be your own but I thought I would share what has worked for me over the years. A key thing to know is that goal setting is not a one-time event. Goals are to be in progress at all times and there is nothing wrong at all with having things that will take years to accomplish. This is why having them in writing and updated regularly will help you. If you need a model for structuring your goal there is always the classic SMART format. S pecific--What do you want? M easurable--How will you know you have achieved it? A ttainable--Is this goal even possible? R elevant--Will the goal make a positive difference for you and/or others? T ime--when will you start, what are milestones along the way and when will y...

Twenty years ago last week Michelle and I started the amazing journey of marriage together. Just a few years prior to that grand day we had met on a blind date through a mutual friend. Now many years later we are at a beginning again of sorts as we are stepping into life together as empty nesters since our only child has now moved off to college. It is very appropriate in a way to have this anniversary and the transition to a new life together in the same year. These many years have been amazing and full of adventures, joy, heartache, togetherness, challenges learning and most of all love. I can remember clearly in the years leading prior to meeting Michelle wondering if I would ever meet someone that I would marry and spend the rest of my life with. There were times when I thought it would never happen. That simple blind date led me to a person that I had been praying and hoping for all my life.  I relish my time with Michelle. She is the perfect spouse, mother and fr...

The way we connect to information and to each other has been revolutionized over the last several years. This has come about thanks to the advance of mobile communication devices and social sites like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Pinterest, Blogger, Periscope and on and on.  We are socially connected more than ever before in history with our fancy devices fundamentally changing the way we communicate. The sad part is that social automation and other technologies are in many cases not bringing people together. For many, it is instead creating an inverse effect with possible “friends” in the thousands but in reality no real relationships. I am a man. You may be one as well. As men, we are especially at risk to fall into the trap of loneliness and isolation. We are manly men and we are not expected to ever express feelings, show pain or step away from our role of responsibility leading our family from the front into the battles of life. Sure times have changed to soften much ...

I am not much of a TV watcher and it seems when I do take time to flip through the current cable offerings all we seem to have anymore are reality shows. Interestingly, many of the popular shows are about people that have jobs and lives of danger and excitement. Who would have imagined years ago that there would be an audience for shows about fishermen, lumberjacks, Alaska cabin dwellers, and redneck country folks. I spend my day in a cubicle. The overall level of the excitement of reading e-mails, attending conference calls and enduring endless meetings is somewhat lacking. Perhaps I need to star in my own show. “Cubicleman!?” “E-mail Dynasty!?” “Conference calls: The Last Frontier!?” I could set up a GOPRO camera and record every exciting moment. Up at 530! Work by 0700! Lunch at the desk while working! Out by 530! My day would be riveting I am sure for others to observe. Most of these shows are popular because people long to escape their own mundane and steril...

Last month our family achieved an important milestone in our lives. We dropped in the mail our final house payment to become 100% debt free! I have to be honest. Much of my obsession over saving and being debt free has been driven by a fear of the future.  What would my family do if the cancer were to come back? What burden would I leave them? How would my son go to college? What happens if I were to lose my job? Sometimes fear can be a good thing if in end the end it brings hope. So how did we get here?  It is far easier than you might think. Don’t buy stuff you can’t afford!               Sounds like common sense doesn't it? Common sense unfortunately is just not common practice for most people.  Key here is having discernment between what you need to have and would like to have. If you don’t have the money just don’t buy it. Pretty simple huh? Live below your means!  Wh...

Hello my name is….. Regret, stupid, mistake, loser, ugly, fat, defeat For many people the labels we wear in our hearts about who or what we think we really are can be completely debilitating. Many are self-created for no real reason at all while others are the result of false assessments placed on us through the ignorance and meanness of others. I am 46 yet in my head on bad day I can see very clearly the time as a second or third grader when in a moment of self defeat I etched “dummie” on  a brick outside the west side of our house. That moment and that word haunted me for years as not only did it continue to echo in my head but later I realized it would not come off the brick. I had created a false label.  I think we all do this. We etch labels so deeply in our hearts that we just can’t seem to remove them. Then for some to feel better they transfer these labels to others in an effort to feel better.  I know way too many people that hate themselves an...

“The world is what we think it is. If we can change our thoughts we can change the world” H.M. Tomlison A funny thing about attitudes is that they are as contagious as colds. We truly tend to catch whichever one we surround ourselves with most. No one is immune. I have often found myself in a circle of negativity fully participating in the downtrodden conversation about how terrible this or that or him or she is. Soon thereafter upon reflection, I often end up feeling a genuine sense of shame that I chose to take part and more importantly chose to enable. There was a day during my chemotherapy that served as perhaps the best reminder. I was sitting quietly in the waiting room before the start of my treatments when the nurse came in to get the gentleman sitting next to me. This guy was in obvious pain, poor health and was well advanced in age. The nurse asked, “How are you today?” Without missing a beat he replied, “Wonderful! My eyes opened this morning and the Lord has bles...

As far as birthdays go there are few more memorable than sixteen. It is more than just a number as it represents a new freedom to roam and a giant step to independence thanks to the all-important driver’s license and access to a vehicle. Conner reached this milestone and began his junior year of high school on the same day last week. That is a pretty good day by any measure. His excitement level reminded me somewhat sadly of those giddy days of old when a $3 Star Wars toy or a pirate birthday party would bring boundless energy of anticipation. I made a point to be home for that moment when with the new freedom card in hand he drove off alone for the first time. Certainly a big part of his childhood was left behind in the driveway as he cruised away music cranked and smile wide. Meanwhile back at home his mother and I shared a hug as we too acknowledged that our lives had at the same time had just changed into a new stage of parenting and of being with each other. Just less tha...

“The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to...failure.” ― John Maxwell One of the key traits of successful people is a willingness to fail. There are many people out there that have never failed due to having never taken a risk. They have instead chosen the low road in life. The higher you try to climb the further you may fall after all. The risk taker steps out in front of the crowd to try. She takes the risk, fails, learns and then goes at it again with a new and improved strategy. This concept is known as failing forward and only a few have this great capacity. No one wants to be a failure but there are those who see missteps merely as chances to find new ways to win. Far too many people unfortunately use the fear of failure as an excuse not to try. Perhaps they were a poor student before so the thought of spending money to go back to school brings memories of emotions felt when that “F” arrived.  Ma...

Fourteen years ago today I completed my final radiation treatment after a whirlwind 9 months of lumps, surgeries, lost hope, chemo and finally healing. Yes it was many years ago but at this time of year it seems like yesterday. That is not a bad thing as each Christmas Eve I get a wonderful reminder of how incredibly blessed I am. This is true really for anyone breathing today. If you are alive you have a chance to make today and tomorrow even better. You can forget the past and move forward in hope of a better future. There are a lot of crazy things going on in the world today and it can get so easy to be discouraged. I do not understand the whys behind sadness and tragedy. I think if you spend too much time on it the only result is to become bleak and bitter. Who really wants to live that way? I am taking a new look this year as I move into my 15 th year. I chose not wonder about the why but instead take the special moments and just be thankful I am here and still have a ch...

With Lance in 1999 Finally I have come to openly accept that Lance Armstrong cheated during his reign as the Tour De France champion and as the allegations spread over the years he engaged in a fierce campaign of denial to protect his reputation , his legacy and his foundation. Whew that hurts to write yet at the same time also feels good to face the truth openly. There is a big part of me that did not want to ever admit to what happened. Deep inside I wanted to him to remain on the pedestal his legend created. After all, Lance and I did go through our cancer experiences around the same time. I even met him in person back in 1999 as I too was working on my personal comeback from cancer to start a life changed forever by the experience. Like millions of others, I wore the bracelet and felt inspired as he won tour after tour. Most of all, I saw firsthand the inspiration and good work that would become Livestrong.org. Now thanks to piles of undeniable evidence my one time h...

I have been working hard this summer to improve my fitness and loose a few pounds. My routine is to alternate between running and cycling. Saturday is my long ride day and I hit the street as soon as there is enough light to ride. For several weeks the riding did not go so well. My frustrations about this difficulty became so great that I was growing concerned about my health. Was something wrong with me? Why so hard? I thought that my fitness was improving! I bonked so hard on one Saturday ride that I had to give up early and head back to the house with a completion of only 35 miles for the day. Then one day while passing by my bike in the garage I suddenly for some strange reason gave the back wheel a little spin. It moved maybe an inch. OOPS! Turns out that for who knows how long the back brake had been pressed against the wheel. I had been in essence riding with the brake on for weeks. You can imagine how that next ride went for me after fixing the break. Suddenly I was blazing do...

As promised, here is my Value, Purpose and Compelling Vision. I have it posted at my desk along with the photo. The picture serves as a nice reminder that my wife and son are looking up to me as a leader for our family. I can never forget this and must strive to always be a Godly example. Hopefully you have taken some time to go through this exercise as well. If not, I encourage you to do so soon. My value list Closeness to God Family Compassion Adventure Service Financial security Health Integrity Learning Risk My purpose... To serve God, serve my family and serve those around me. My compelling vision statement: I shall live a life grounded with a sense of integrity and of closeness with my God. My values along with the Oath, Law and Motto will guide my choices along the way. In my personal life I shall seek first to be a Godly husband and father and I will value those around me. In my work life, I am committed to helping others experience success so they in turn will help others succ...

Your purpose and vision statements are the next step in your walk to define who you are and what your life will stand for. My statements have changed many times over the years as my life circumstances have changed and as I have learned more about the world in general. Don’t worry about the wording or how it may be interpreted by others. These statements are for you. Steven Covey has been recognized as the personal development pioneer in this area. In his book First Things First, he offers the following three basic elements that must be present in a meaningful personal vision (mission) statement. The first is what you want to be—what character strengths you want to have, what qualities you want to develop. The second is what you want to do—what you want to accomplish, what contributions you want to make. The third is what you want to have—what possessions, money and so forth you wish to have. My statements are simple and easy to remember. Also, I am not much of “what you want to have” ...

Do you know what you value? If you took a few moments yesterday to brainstorm your thoughts you do. Congratulations! Before we move on to writing a purpose statement and a compelling vision statement I thought I would share my own value list. My value list Closeness to God Family Compassion Adventure Service Financial security Health Integrity Learning Risk Articulation of values leads to accountability. Each day I must ask myself, “Are my actions in alignment with my values as well as my Purpose and my Vision?” I often fall short but at least I know what I am striving for. Share your list today! Post where you can see it! No accountability leads to no action. What were some of your values? Did they align with your actions?

Many times the root of our personal inner conflict is the result of incongruent values. Do your words and thoughts consistently match you actions? Do the people you interact with have similar values? Does your career support or undermine the person you desire to be. In this sense the things we find valuable are not necessarily material things. Instead you can think of them as emotional states or items that create states. Some possible values may be: Security Adventure Change Love Solitude Reverence Excitement Personal growth Family Time Creativity Friendship Risk Learning Recognition Helping Others You would not want to take a person who holds solitude as a high personal value to event where this person would have to interact with a large number of people over a long period of time. For a career, a person who highly values risk and financial rewards would do well in a commission based sales job whereas a person that values security and might not be as happy. This does not mean that the...