davidNprogress

There are many men that when they pass a certain age lose their way. Statistics show that divorce rates and depression for men after 50 are growing with male suicide rates now peaking after 50. Little is known as to the reason why but my best guess is that many men turn to this decade of life, join the empty nest then look around and say, “now what?”. Looking back there were once dreams of big jobs, big houses, big bank accounts, and small waistlines. Instead for many men we look around and find life has not quite turned out as expected. We think “Retirement is coming but I have no plan” “Our child-centered marriage has changed and left my wife and me with little in common” “Our friends were based on our child circle and they have moved on” “The job of my dreams is now just a grind” “The body I see in the mirror is of an old man. The athlete in me is gone” “Now what?”  “Now what?” Most men by nature keep these deep fears to ourselves and avoid sharing. If not addresse...

If you read my previous post you understand the importance of goal setting to reach success. You must also be committed to joining the 9% club by following through with what you want to achieve. Everyone is different and how you organize your goals needs to be your own but I thought I would share what has worked for me over the years. A key thing to know is that goal setting is not a one-time event. Goals are to be in progress at all times and there is nothing wrong at all with having things that will take years to accomplish. This is why having them in writing and updated regularly will help you. If you need a model for structuring your goal there is always the classic SMART format. S pecific--What do you want? M easurable--How will you know you have achieved it? A ttainable--Is this goal even possible? R elevant--Will the goal make a positive difference for you and/or others? T ime--when will you start, what are milestones along the way and when will y...

“The person without goals will end up working for someone that does” Yes, it is that time of year again. As we near the flip of the calendar many people get excited about the psychological turn to a New Year and set goals. I think we have all been there with plans to lose weight or to finally make that life-changing career move. It is reported that 41% of us “usually” set New Year's Resolutions and 42% of us never set make a resolution. Sadly of those that do set goals, only 9.2% feel they have experienced success in achieving them. Given this very poor result, it is no wonder so many do not bother and it shows the power of optimism that so many keep trying. I am a goal setter. It is not something I do as much as it is part of who I am. Going back over 15 years I have my goals and result of these goals documented. It is interesting each year to reflect on some of my older objectives as they provide insight into points of time in my life. Some success highlights looking...

The voice--We have all heard it. It comes at us in those moments when we take a new step toward achievement or when we are thinking about taking a risk. For some people, the voice is good and motivational. It tells you that you are worthy of success and that you can meet your goals. For many others, the voice is different and debilitating. “Don’t bother with the diet. You have failed losing weight in the past and this time will be no different” “Don’t go on that blind date. You suck at relationships and are destined to live alone” “Don’t sign up for the run. You have never really exercised before and it is just not possible.” “Don’t go back to school. Your previous educational experience was a struggle and you are not smart enough to succeed.” "There is no point to getting out of debt. You will never be financially free" Your inner voice can get so full of don’ts that eventually it shoves out all the dos leaving you in a pattern of regret. H...

Twenty years ago last week Michelle and I started the amazing journey of marriage together. Just a few years prior to that grand day we had met on a blind date through a mutual friend. Now many years later we are at a beginning again of sorts as we are stepping into life together as empty nesters since our only child has now moved off to college. It is very appropriate in a way to have this anniversary and the transition to a new life together in the same year. These many years have been amazing and full of adventures, joy, heartache, togetherness, challenges learning and most of all love. I can remember clearly in the years leading prior to meeting Michelle wondering if I would ever meet someone that I would marry and spend the rest of my life with. There were times when I thought it would never happen. That simple blind date led me to a person that I had been praying and hoping for all my life.  I relish my time with Michelle. She is the perfect spouse, mother and fr...

The mountains are calling….. And I must go I love this video from The North Face. Indeed there is something about the mountains and the outdoors that call your soul to return once you have experienced them up front and personal. I am not referencing the mountains seen from a car window or a condo but instead the kind that can only be experienced from a backwoods trail. Hiking summer of 2012 Close my eyes and I can quickly return to a star filled night during the summer of 2012 sitting in a New Mexico mountain meadow in complete silence surrounded by nothing but nature. No machines, no electronics and even no animals. Simply silence. It turns out you can have some pretty good talks with God when there are no distractions in your way and complete evidence of his glory surrounding you. Take such an outing with some youth and you will also be amazed to see the difference hardship, fun and learning while breathing in some clean mountain air will make. It clears the mind and...

Years ago I used to facilitate a course that had a section about attitude. I began the session with a little exercise with the folks in pairs to share a story. The conversation had to be about a plan for the future and for round one no matter what person #1 shared the second person was to respond “ yes but !” “I am really looking forward to the weekend with my family” “ Yes but it looks like it is going to rain all weekend so you will not be able to do much.” “My son is doing great is school right now” “ Yes but you know college is going to be super expensive and most likely he will struggle to get a job when/if he graduates.” The round two response had to be a positive “ yes and ” “I am really looking forward to the weekend with my family” “ Yes and with the rain you could play some really fun board games with great conversations.” “My son is doing great in school right now” “ Yes and that is a terrific indicator of a positive future ahead.” You k...

We are lucky in OKC to have a terrific grassroots community of people that enjoy getting fit together. Your goals will be easier to meet when shared with others. You will also get the added benefit of making new friends and learning tips from others that have found success. Intimidated? Do not be! These groups include all skill levels from the couch potato wanting to run a 5K for the first time all to way to elite ultra-athletes. The famous Oklahoma hospitality is alive and well indeed. The OKC Running Club:  Landrunners Thinking about running the 2013 OKC Marathon? The Landrunners offer free training runs that are wonderfully supported. http://www.okcrunning.org/ Oklahoma Bicycle Society: OBS New to group riding? Try the famous donut ride. http://oklahomabicyclesociety.com/ Oklahoma Earthbike Fellowship: OEF More than just an off road riding club, the OEF has promoted trail riding in the OKC area for years and works to maintain the system at Blu...

“If you learn unhappiness too well you will get good at it”  David after 11 days on the trail  This is a great slap in the face quote I heard recently from one of my favorite podcasters. The point was that the more time we spend unhappy then the more we will become comfortable with it. I went on an 11 day hiking trip this summer and one of the rules was that we were not allowed to wear deodorant due to it being a smellable that could potentially attract bears. I wondered before the trip if an attack from a bear would be better than the smell of a group of unwashed and un-deodorized teen boys. Whew! I realized on the trail this was not going to be a problem since we very quickly got used to our own smells and soon none of us noticed the stink. Things changed quickly however upon my return home when suddenly the smells that had surrounded me without notice attacked the senses much like a rampaging bear. Of course much of this was due to the equally powerful remarks from my ...

A few years ago a friend of mine decided to build a remote control airplane. My buddy is one of those obsessive go all the way type of guys and wanted to build this thing right. He even went so far as to create a little workshop area in his garage with special lighting and a tall table to make the work easier. I joined him a few times at the RC club airfield to watch others flying these little machines of wonder and to talk excitingly about what it would be like when his own balsa marvel was complete. Weeks went by and after awhile I kind of forgot about the plane and the whole flying project until one day while at his house I noticed the plane on display in the garage. It looked fantastic with the paint gleaming and every graphic placed just right. I of course asked him, “What is it like to fly it?” He stumbled a bit as he explained that he had yet to fly the plane and after some deep contemplation had decided he most likely never would. “What!” I exclaimed. It turns out that...

I have been working hard this summer to improve my fitness and loose a few pounds. My routine is to alternate between running and cycling. Saturday is my long ride day and I hit the street as soon as there is enough light to ride. For several weeks the riding did not go so well. My frustrations about this difficulty became so great that I was growing concerned about my health. Was something wrong with me? Why so hard? I thought that my fitness was improving! I bonked so hard on one Saturday ride that I had to give up early and head back to the house with a completion of only 35 miles for the day. Then one day while passing by my bike in the garage I suddenly for some strange reason gave the back wheel a little spin. It moved maybe an inch. OOPS! Turns out that for who knows how long the back brake had been pressed against the wheel. I had been in essence riding with the brake on for weeks. You can imagine how that next ride went for me after fixing the break. Suddenly I was blazing do...

This is a common question that I am sure each of you has been asked many times over the years. Chances are you proudly respond, “I am a _____ for _____” In my case I am a Training Manager for Sprint. Indeed you are a _____ for _____ and you are oh so much more. You see there is a big difference between where you work and what you do. We all know where we work but very few people have taken time to deeply consider what they really do. When people ask me what I do, I surprise many by saying, “I enable the success of others”. I learned this many years ago in college when I was paying my way through as a janitor. My boss one day posed the question to me and I of course responded, “I am a janitor, I sweep floors, scrub toilets, clean up after babies are born in OB and when accidents happen in the ER” (Go ahead—soak on that image for a bit) He said all of this was true but in reality my job was to save lives. “Huh?” From there he explained the importance of cleanliness to prevent staph infec...

“You have bigger boobs than me” Ouch! This was said to me in jest by a girlfriend of mine back in the spring of 1989 as we were eating a big tray of nachos. I was 21 years old at the time and in my fourth year of college. I am person that has struggled with my weight as long as I can remember and it seemed no matter what I tried it would just not come off. As a youth, I remember the teasing from the other kids very clearly. I also remember the feeling as I stood there at gym or recess knowing I was going to be the last person to get picked for whatever sport we were being forced to play. My fear of athletic failure kept me from doing any sports. Exercise was a truly was a stranger to me. Really, up until that moment in 1989 I don’t think my heart had ever risen above 100 BPM unless I was running to grab the last ding dong from the box. The boob comment for some reason though lit a spark in me. I decided at that moment that I was going to change my life. I was going to learn to eat ri...

I am a fraud… There I said it and it feels so good. David #1 (the David I desire to be) Charming, thin, athletic, wonderful husband, greatest dad, Bible reader, friend, listener, prayer warrior, leader, adventurer, mentor, grateful volunteer, joyful giver, difference maker….. David (the David I seem to be more often) Overeater, couch potato, distracted husband, impatient father, selfish leader, negative thinker, reluctant giver, life skater…. At least I have good company. Paul says in Romans “ What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise.” Later he says, “I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. (from The Message) Gosh his words could be my own. Could they be yours? Do you struggle with the person you are vs. the person you want to be? It seems so often that the desires of our heart do not translate positively into the actions of our hands and feet. I would love to add another sente...

My road bike is sick and in the shop. I am hoping for a full recovery. I guess that is why I have been thinking a lot in biking terms these last couple of days. I thought I would share with you a segment of an e-mail I sent to a team member this week talking about teamwork. (about cycling) We ride in pacelines with each person taking a turn at the front to “pull” the rest. There is always pressure to: Take a turn at the front—If you get a reputation as someone who never pulls, the group eventually will call you out for it and not want to ride with you. Not go to fast—A lot of guys get up front and then just take off. These are the ones who don’t look back to make sure the group is still there. They forget the point of the pull is to take the burden a bit for the rest of the group and not to ride any faster than your slowest rider can handle. Stay safe in the middle—I broke my arm one time in a race because a dude a few bikes in front of me clipped the tire of the guy in front of him an...