davidNprogress

Imagine you are standing at the end of a washed-out bridge with people blindly driving your way all unaware of the fate that will behold them if they do not change their direction right away. You would, to the best of your ability, do all you could to get them to stop and go another way. As a 50+-year-old genX-debt free-cancer survivor, I feel this way about many topics. Marriage, parenting, health, career, finances are all areas that by this point in life I have learned many lessons. Some through my own great mistakes and many through educated hard work successes. My strongest obsession now for several years is a desire to retire without want. The journey began early in my working life when I first read The Millionaire Next Door. I was at the time single and making less than $25,000. It was amazing to learn at my young age that there is a path to wealth even for the average person.  That seed of hope was small and at the time did not take full root other than to get me ...

The way we connect to information and to each other has been revolutionized over the last several years. This has come about thanks to the advance of mobile communication devices and social sites like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Pinterest, Blogger, Periscope and on and on.  We are socially connected more than ever before in history with our fancy devices fundamentally changing the way we communicate. The sad part is that social automation and other technologies are in many cases not bringing people together. For many, it is instead creating an inverse effect with possible “friends” in the thousands but in reality no real relationships. I am a man. You may be one as well. As men, we are especially at risk to fall into the trap of loneliness and isolation. We are manly men and we are not expected to ever express feelings, show pain or step away from our role of responsibility leading our family from the front into the battles of life. Sure times have changed to soften much ...

Well here we go. It is the start of the senior year for Conner and of course I know it will go by fast. It is almost cliché to talk about how time flies but these 17 years have gone by in a blink of an eye. I am little reflective now thinking back to the parent I have been for him. Regrets? Yes I do have some and can think of many ways I could have been a better father. I do not regret for a moment the choices we made to live our lives centered around being as good of parents we could and supporting our child with time together. Sure, Michelle and I could have thrown everything at climbing the corporate ladder and chasing stuff. The result may have been a bigger house, fancier vacations and newer cars. But at what price for these things?  They mean nothing if it leads to a debt of regret for missed opportunities in the short 18 years we got to spend time with this great guy.  Having lost our father's at young ages, Michelle and I both have fully understood...

One of the things you hear marathon runners talk about is “the wall”. This is the moment around mile 20 or so when many people reach that critical point where a physical and mental choice is made. The choice revolves around continuing to run, walking, or for some just plain quitting. I can remember hitting this moment during my fist marathon several years ago. It was somewhere around mile 22 and after three and a half hours of running. It seemed most of the people around me at this point were walking or doing a little run/walk combo. To say we were running at this point was a bit of stretch. Oh how I longed for the pain end and to join the comfort of those who were walking. One cool thing at the Dallas White Rock Marathon is that if you are a first time marathoner you have a different number you wear so that anyone will know you are a first timer.   Here back at the end of the pack there were several of us first timers. As my desire to stop was reaching a cr...

Hello my name is….. Regret, stupid, mistake, loser, ugly, fat, defeat For many people the labels we wear in our hearts about who or what we think we really are can be completely debilitating. Many are self-created for no real reason at all while others are the result of false assessments placed on us through the ignorance and meanness of others. I am 46 yet in my head on bad day I can see very clearly the time as a second or third grader when in a moment of self defeat I etched “dummie” on  a brick outside the west side of our house. That moment and that word haunted me for years as not only did it continue to echo in my head but later I realized it would not come off the brick. I had created a false label.  I think we all do this. We etch labels so deeply in our hearts that we just can’t seem to remove them. Then for some to feel better they transfer these labels to others in an effort to feel better.  I know way too many people that hate themselves an...

Thanks to smart phones and tablets, our society is quickly moving through a technology motivated transformation with broad impacts. Most of these are positive with hyper-networking opening doors to community and innovation that would not have been possible even just a few years ago. I think most of us now take for granted the amount of information that is available at any given time right in the palm of our hand. But with these changes have also come pitfalls as well and we should be ever on guard to ensure we embrace the positive side of technology rather than fall into a technological hole that will destroy us. Truly there is danger for it to take our lives, darken our souls, and destroy our families. Am I being over dramatic? Check out these facts about texting and driving. It seems more and more common to hear of accidents due to distracted drivers. Thankfully the wireless industry recognizes this problem and companies like Sprint are now offering tools to help. Sprint Cus...

“The world is what we think it is. If we can change our thoughts we can change the world” H.M. Tomlison A funny thing about attitudes is that they are as contagious as colds. We truly tend to catch whichever one we surround ourselves with most. No one is immune. I have often found myself in a circle of negativity fully participating in the downtrodden conversation about how terrible this or that or him or she is. Soon thereafter upon reflection, I often end up feeling a genuine sense of shame that I chose to take part and more importantly chose to enable. There was a day during my chemotherapy that served as perhaps the best reminder. I was sitting quietly in the waiting room before the start of my treatments when the nurse came in to get the gentleman sitting next to me. This guy was in obvious pain, poor health and was well advanced in age. The nurse asked, “How are you today?” Without missing a beat he replied, “Wonderful! My eyes opened this morning and the Lord has bles...

In my role as a Scout volunteer, I recently had the chance to learn a little about techniques to use in a crisis situation as part of the Wilderness Survival merit badge. There was something about the STOP model in the training that struck me as valuable for my personal life as well. The point of the discussion was that often when people get lost there is panic which in turn ends up making the situation worse. There are many examples of people that in crises decided to blaze a way out of dangerous situations by panicking and running through the woods. These folks soon find themselves in even more despair, lost and alone. I realize now that I often make this same error as a parent, husband, and manager. Like many others, I see a problem and I want to immediately jump to a solution. Men are notorious about solution jumping when our wives bring a problem. How different might the outcome be however if I simply followed this model instead. S it=Find some time alone in a ...

“The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to...failure.” ― John Maxwell One of the key traits of successful people is a willingness to fail. There are many people out there that have never failed due to having never taken a risk. They have instead chosen the low road in life. The higher you try to climb the further you may fall after all. The risk taker steps out in front of the crowd to try. She takes the risk, fails, learns and then goes at it again with a new and improved strategy. This concept is known as failing forward and only a few have this great capacity. No one wants to be a failure but there are those who see missteps merely as chances to find new ways to win. Far too many people unfortunately use the fear of failure as an excuse not to try. Perhaps they were a poor student before so the thought of spending money to go back to school brings memories of emotions felt when that “F” arrived.  Ma...

Fourteen years ago today I completed my final radiation treatment after a whirlwind 9 months of lumps, surgeries, lost hope, chemo and finally healing. Yes it was many years ago but at this time of year it seems like yesterday. That is not a bad thing as each Christmas Eve I get a wonderful reminder of how incredibly blessed I am. This is true really for anyone breathing today. If you are alive you have a chance to make today and tomorrow even better. You can forget the past and move forward in hope of a better future. There are a lot of crazy things going on in the world today and it can get so easy to be discouraged. I do not understand the whys behind sadness and tragedy. I think if you spend too much time on it the only result is to become bleak and bitter. Who really wants to live that way? I am taking a new look this year as I move into my 15 th year. I chose not wonder about the why but instead take the special moments and just be thankful I am here and still have a ch...

Conner turns 13 this week and this birthday is weighing heavily on my heart. Last weekend on the Scout campout he was put in charge by the Scoutmaster as Senior Patrol Leader (SPL). As he organized and instructed 30 + adults and Scouts I was amazing and wondered “is this really my son” (Scouting is a youth run program and the boys plan and are in charge of everything) I so enjoyed standing afar just watching him as he interacted with everyone. It is amazing to think that just 12 years ago at this time I was battling cancer with treatments and planning for the worse. At the time my only prayer was to live long enough that he would remember me. My father died when I was very young and I have no memories of him. Now as he enters the teen years he is becoming more and more his own person and I can see glimpses of the man he will be very soon. Sitting here today, I am so thankful the Lord chose to give me this time. I want to treasure every moment and be the best father that I am capable of...

"It is amazing what a little belief in a boy can do for him" Jim Oliver This was a statement in a recent Boy Scout adult leader meeting that was made by one of the participants. Jim is a Scoutmaster and although I had never met him before my guess is that he must be a pretty good one. Jim gets it. He understands at a deep level the impact those of us that work with youth can have through an action as simple as a belief in the potential of each person. This belief is reflected by how we treat them and how they view us as Adults. We must talk deeply to understand who they are, how they think, and what they deep down aspire to be. We must give them the chance to lead and give them the chance to succeed. Along the way don't soften the standards or bend the rules. In fact, hold steadfast to these knowing the achievement is ever more valuable if it was hard. We must allow and even celebrate failure. Why? Failures are the great teachable moments in life and it is so much easier...

As promised, here is my Value, Purpose and Compelling Vision. I have it posted at my desk along with the photo. The picture serves as a nice reminder that my wife and son are looking up to me as a leader for our family. I can never forget this and must strive to always be a Godly example. Hopefully you have taken some time to go through this exercise as well. If not, I encourage you to do so soon. My value list Closeness to God Family Compassion Adventure Service Financial security Health Integrity Learning Risk My purpose... To serve God, serve my family and serve those around me. My compelling vision statement: I shall live a life grounded with a sense of integrity and of closeness with my God. My values along with the Oath, Law and Motto will guide my choices along the way. In my personal life I shall seek first to be a Godly husband and father and I will value those around me. In my work life, I am committed to helping others experience success so they in turn will help others succ...

July 4th was the first time my son has ever really had the opportunity to shoot off fireworks. In his own words it was “freakin’ awesome”. I personally relish in the firsts and wish there were more. I remember fondly my first car(see picture), first date with Michelle, first day in our house, first day of Conner’s life, first day of school for Conner, and on and on. This is in contrast to the lasts. We have many of those in life as well. There was the last time I saw my mother before she died of cancer, the last day of high school, the last day of college, the last day I would see a good friend, the last time Conner would play in a park, the last time he would hold my hand in public, and heck the last time I would not have any gray hair and on and on. The lesson to me is that we must relish the firsts, the lasts, and every moment in between. I hope you take some time in the next few days just to stop and enjoy the moment. No matter what you may be doing--that moment will never happen...

http://www.sharpusa.com/ I recently saw this ad by the Sharp Company and it really got me to thinking. Is life so simple that I could literally change my life by just getting a new TV? Wow that is indeed amazing! Sharp to their credit does not say that your life will change for the better or for the worse. They only say it will change. Okay Sharp! Last weekend I took your advice and purchased a 19 inch TV to replace the 21 year old unit in our bedroom. Sure, I am too cheap and watch too little TV to have cable in this room but I did nonetheless make the change. A full week has gone by and for some reason I do not feel any different. I did have really strange sensation a few days ago but it turned out to be a cramp in my foot. I weighed this morning hoping perhaps to see a change there and unfortunately I am still fat. I looked in the mirror to see if perhaps I was somehow better looking and darn it no change there either. Oh well. Just last night my son was on a phone talkin...

“Yes there is no tooth fairy.” I said these words to my son a couple of years ago as tears flowed down his cheeks. He had been to the dentist a few days before and unknown to us had hid the tooth under his pillow without telling mom and dad as a little test. Over the years, I had always had a “if he asks I will tell” policy about the tooth fairy and about Santa. The problem was that he so steadfastly believed me that there was in his mind no need to ask. After all, why would his parents ever mislead their own son? Oh there were signs of the trauma to come. Just a few months earlier in the car a boy had asked Conner if he still believed in Santa. The response was, “Of course I do. My dad told me there is a Santa and that means it is true. End of story.” My heart just fell out of my chest in the front seat of the car. The point my son made about the tooth fairy (and Santa) was sound and unarguable. I started with the line about traditions and about how my mother had told me about the too...